My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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