Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
