Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
