is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
