stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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