You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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