During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize