good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
they need to just BURY HIM!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
