I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
