Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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