I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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