do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
