worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
