First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
