please come you make the beer taste better
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
