My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize