No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
