so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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