Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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