? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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