But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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