if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
