Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
