super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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