Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
