You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
