Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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