I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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