Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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