Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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