Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
