Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
