just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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