Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
