where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
