my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize