I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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