The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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