I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Buhtt sex?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
