She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
