how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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