just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
