She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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