speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize