So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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