farters have to be the big spoon...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh god it's open bar.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize