I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
