Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I touched a dick in church today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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