Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
