it was like eating out sand paper
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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