I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
