her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
