i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
only you would photoshop your dick
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
