So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
