Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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