Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
